MOVIES Richard Gere Says Marriage Is a ‘Constant Checking-in’ with Each Other: ‘Does This Work?’

The Maybe I Do actor opened up to Extra about putting in the work when it comes to marriage and keeping relationships healthy

Like most things in life worth preserving, Richard Gere knows marriage takes care and effort.

“I’ve been married three times,” the actor, 73, told Extra recently in a chat surrounding his upcoming rom-com Maybe I Do, when asked about relating to the themes in the film that costars Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton, Emma Roberts, William H. Macy and Luke Bracey.

“There’s always two things are going on at the same time in any relationship is that you, as an individual, are still trying to figure out who you are, always,” said Gere, who was been married to Alejandra Silva since 2018. (The couple share two children: Alexander, who turns 4 next month, and a younger son whose birth PEOPLE confirmed in April 2020.)

One big question he always asks is: “How do you share that with another person, and does it fit?” “The person that you are today was not the same person you were 50 years ago when the relationship started,” he explained. “They’re not the same person. You’re not the same people together.”

Gere continued, “So it’s a constant checking in to see, ‘Does this work?’ And sometimes it doesn’t … you’ve gone in different directions and, okay, you’re in different places, and there’s not a reason to stay together anymore.”

On Jan. 17, Gere and Silva, 39, appeared at a special screening of Maybe I Do in New York City along with Gere’s costars Roberts, 31, and Sarandon, 76, marking a rare red-carpet appearance for the couple.

Gere and Silva, who got married in a secret ceremony in April 2018, kept close on the carpet as they held hands and wrapped their arms around one another while posing for photos.

Following their wedding, a film source who has known Gere for years told PEOPLE, “Richard has been much happier in this half of his life because he is settled, confident and doing what he likes.”

“Practicing Buddhism and doing humanitarian work have fulfilled and transformed him, and he is at a stage when he can make the kinds of films that he likes,” the insider added of Gere, who was previously married to Cindy Crawford and Carey Lowell. He and Lowell, 61, share son Homer, 22.

Gere and Silva turned heads in 2018 when they got married and announced plans to start a family despite their 33-year age difference.

A photo of the Dalai Lama blessing Silva’s baby bump served as their first pregnancy announcement in September 2018. Just nine months after their first son’s birth, they announced a second baby was on the way.

A source close to the couple told PEOPLE at the time that the two were “extraordinarily happy.”

“They’re so comfortable with each other, have fun together and are looking forward to their future together,” the insider said.